Hello all! I read this article today and it stirred a bit of emotion in me so I thought I would share. I e-mailed Abby my thoughts as well and I explained to her that I do not think college is bad it is AWESOME, however it is a choice and is not the right choice for everyone, like me for example and I will tell you why.
I have put my responses in red, I hope you enjoy this and please comment on your thoughts!
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have been living together for two years and are starting to talk about marriage.(This is a good thing) She is kind and considerate, and we love each other. (Aww that is the most important thing) The only problem is, I have a college degree and she has only a high school diploma.(So, let me get this you love her but she isn't as smart as you?) I always imagined that I'd marry a college-educated person, but she has no desire to attend college or to get any other type of schooling, either. (What is wrong with her! lol)
I'm worried, Abby, because I'm afraid that we won't have a secure financial future because of her limited education.(Maybe if $ is you biggest concern you should get your Masters) I want to provide a good life for our future children.(So you love her now and you want to have children with her but she can't offer you the money you want?) Should I ignore my concerns?(No) Or should I depart from this relationship? ( I say depart if you think that money can buy a good life, for yourself or your kids. There are ways to get by, you do not have to be rich in money to be rich in love!)-- LOOKING TWICE IN IDAHO
DEAR LOOKING TWICE: Your concerns should certainly not be ignored. However, your last question is one only you can answer.(Okay I'm in agreement.)
And since we're on the subject of "questions," I have a few more for you: Although a college degree is not the end-all and be-all in determining success,( yes) is this young woman at all ambitious?(Hold up, ambition and college are two different things. How many people do you know that are in college but have no ambition? I know a ton!) Is she willing to expand her career options, or does she plan to be a housewife and stay-at-home mother?( And if she did want to be a housewife and stay at home mother would that make her ambitious? I think so b/c it is more difficult to control your spending and lifestyle in order for a mother to stay at home.)
You and your girlfriend could benefit from premarital counseling.(Yeah) After that, you will both have a clearer picture of what your future together will hold.
Not much if you keep judging her for not choosing college! Again I think that college is great for the right people but it does not make you rich, it does not make you successful, it does not make you anything really. You determine your own success, you and God. You can create that in so many different ways, not just through college!
Personally I don't like school. It is very difficult for me, I don't enjoy it, and I don't have the desire to go! Why would I spend 30,000.00 on something I don't care about? I can work maybe I won't rake in the big bucks but I don't need them. We have everything we need, food, shelter, love, and God. So I am content is that so wrong?!
Please I would like to hear your take!
I have put my responses in red, I hope you enjoy this and please comment on your thoughts!
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have been living together for two years and are starting to talk about marriage.(This is a good thing) She is kind and considerate, and we love each other. (Aww that is the most important thing) The only problem is, I have a college degree and she has only a high school diploma.(So, let me get this you love her but she isn't as smart as you?) I always imagined that I'd marry a college-educated person, but she has no desire to attend college or to get any other type of schooling, either. (What is wrong with her! lol)
I'm worried, Abby, because I'm afraid that we won't have a secure financial future because of her limited education.(Maybe if $ is you biggest concern you should get your Masters) I want to provide a good life for our future children.(So you love her now and you want to have children with her but she can't offer you the money you want?) Should I ignore my concerns?(No) Or should I depart from this relationship? ( I say depart if you think that money can buy a good life, for yourself or your kids. There are ways to get by, you do not have to be rich in money to be rich in love!)-- LOOKING TWICE IN IDAHO
DEAR LOOKING TWICE: Your concerns should certainly not be ignored. However, your last question is one only you can answer.(Okay I'm in agreement.)
And since we're on the subject of "questions," I have a few more for you: Although a college degree is not the end-all and be-all in determining success,( yes) is this young woman at all ambitious?(Hold up, ambition and college are two different things. How many people do you know that are in college but have no ambition? I know a ton!) Is she willing to expand her career options, or does she plan to be a housewife and stay-at-home mother?( And if she did want to be a housewife and stay at home mother would that make her ambitious? I think so b/c it is more difficult to control your spending and lifestyle in order for a mother to stay at home.)
You and your girlfriend could benefit from premarital counseling.(Yeah) After that, you will both have a clearer picture of what your future together will hold.
Not much if you keep judging her for not choosing college! Again I think that college is great for the right people but it does not make you rich, it does not make you successful, it does not make you anything really. You determine your own success, you and God. You can create that in so many different ways, not just through college!
Personally I don't like school. It is very difficult for me, I don't enjoy it, and I don't have the desire to go! Why would I spend 30,000.00 on something I don't care about? I can work maybe I won't rake in the big bucks but I don't need them. We have everything we need, food, shelter, love, and God. So I am content is that so wrong?!
Please I would like to hear your take!
6 comments:
Hey sweetie! I agree a person should think long and hard about what they want out of life before digging into the kind of debt one can accumulate in college. Case in point: me!! I do think that a college degree gives you a stepping stone to future pursuits...in other words, a degree would not at all be wasted on a woman whose ultimate goal is to be a sahm! You really don't ever know what life is going to throw your way and it is nice to have a "plan B"!
All that said, I think there are many ways to secure your financial well-being and--most important--the deepest growing and learning you do in your life will not happen in a classroom!
Hey, thanks for stopping by on my blog!
I wanted to weigh in on this topic. I went to college because I grew up knowing that is what I would do, no other way was offered to me. I spent a number of years studying a subject that I untimately didn't like and wasted 4 years working in that field. I was not given any real personal guidance in my choices and when I first went in I was to immature to fully grasp it and then once I was in college I was caught up in the system of exams and job applications etc. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my son that I woke up to the madness of it all. I left the workplace (ie working for other people) 7 years ago and can honestly say I won't ever be back. Not to say I won't earn money someday.
I have some regret about those years... BUT, I am glad I have a well trained mind that I believe I got from the extended years of study. I need it beacuse I am homeschooling my kiddos now and I need to have a fine mind to do that. So looking back I wish
1) I had been a Christian and had access to His wisdom in making choices
2) I had choosen a course more suited to myself, something perhaps broader in scope
3) had a vision of a life without the demand of having to prove myself in the market place
With these in place I think I would have enjoyed college/work more and used college to my advantage rather than being a servant to the system and the marketplace.
Will my girls go to college? Maybe. If they need the training of the mind or they are passionate about a particular course of study then by all means. But if they are entrepreneurial and have good ideas to make money from home or whatever then perhaps that will be the path.
Will my son go to college? Yes! He will one day be bread winner and he must access all methods of improving his chances of success.
Feminism is on the wane. We have realised once again that women are best at homemakeing and mothering. Many see now the importance of this profession and how vital it is to our children, marriages and the survival of the culture. Why not put our college going years into this and not the standard college/money making route?
What do you think about that for a controversial comment :)
Hey, I read this back and saw a few typos.... that is what momma's, even educated ones, get for trying to type with 4 kids underfoot!!!! So what good was it all? :) :)
Thank you for your thoughts!
If you read above your comment. The post made by Mandy, she is my sister and she has a degree in english. I drive her nuts! When I write something it's just popped into my mind and in a hurried scramble I throw a post together.
I had to give her my password so that if she finds a mistake she can fix it.
Not too much bothers me and as long as I make my point I don't care if it is correct grammer or not, note all my run ons and commas.
So write whatever here I wont judge your spelling or grammer if you dont judge mine!
I am not a mother yet but I cannot wait! I so badly want to stay home with my children when they come.
I feel that many issues could be resolved if mothers were at home to see that there children are raised properly!
I must stress I think that college is a great thing I just don't feel it's for everyone (ME). I went to school on and off never got a degree. I think that there should be open enrollment. In my case my parents income didnt allow for finacial help however I was on my own.
I toy with going back at times but I just don't know what I would want to do and that tells me not to do it!
Where I come from many people think that going to college is a right of passage to the start of life. Here I am life in full swing and no degree doing wonderful.
My husband has a degree and is the "bread winner" which is fine by me. I say women belong pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen! JUST KIDDING!!!! I do feel they should be with their children it is vital to their growth!
I hope to hear from you again and look forward to looking at your pictures, you are very talented!
Hi Shona!
I just wanted to offer my own perspective on the state of feminism as it relates to a mother's choices. I think rather than seeing feminism as "on the wane" I'd like to believe it has come full-circle and really achieved what it set out to do in the first place: give women a choice! I think its wonderful that we are generally seeing a return to mothers staying in the home and I do think we will reap the benefits of that trend in the coming generations. Its about time families put raising their children, rather than climbing the corporate ladder, first!
All this said I will encourage my daughters to either go to college or cultivate a marketable skill, and generally have a way in which to provide for themselves. I want them to be prepared for whatever life throws their way! I don't want the loss of their husband's job or (God forbid) the loss of their husband to destroy their (and their children's) finacial well-being. I guess i'm just happy my daughters will have a choice in their life paths...I will be as thrilled if they end up corporate CEOs or as homemakers...maybe they will do both!!
I have to say, though I'm not using it now, I am glad I have my degree. Right now in my life my priority and all of my energy and love is directed toward raising my children. I do see myself, when they are older, returning to school to pursue my Master's in English and teaching college classes!
Anyway I just wanted to chime in! Your comment intriuged me!
Mandy, I like that.... came full circle. That sounds good to me. I admit that I do like the choices I have. I am choosing the mothering road, but I have the freedom to work on art and photography stuff and be published etc. I love that. I choose this over what I was offered in the 80's and early 90's where I was in school/college (in case you were interested my MA is in Psychology). Motherhood/homemaking etc. was not an option, in fact I was taught to feel sorry for women in the home. We are more free now and supported in our choice to be home and I am so much happier now being the boss of my own home/schedule etc.
I do still resent the influences on me growing up as I have struggled to learn how to be a mother/home maker etc. because when I started I had no clue what I was doing. I couldn't believe that they let me take my newborn home, where were the experts?!?. Luckily for me God is gracious and sent me people and books to teach me and somehow I got on track.
When my kids are older I see myself as being productive, hopefully in the art world, but also in the lives of the next generation. So you are right we do have that freedom to choose to do great things now. I want that choice for all my girls and will nourish them on that road.
Anyhow.... good to banter back and forth with you guys :) And if there are any typos I can't blame the kids as they are in bed :)
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